Anxiety of Unfinished Business

Waiting for Nothing to Do

There is a bit of excitement in the air as three of my boys are getting ready to start attending new schools next week.  While it's a bit hard for them to appreciate the privilege they have to study and learn, they are none-the-less excited about experiencing new things and making new friends.  I suppose it's also calming for us as parents to know that the chaos of summer will soon settle back into predictable schedules and routines.  But I can't seem to shake a haunting feeling of uneasiness - the anxiety of unfinished business.  It's a feeling of being ready to go but finding that I'm rather only waiting for nothing to do.  It stinks.

Not gonna lie, I'm pretty bummed.  I think that is a natural reaction.  Like training hard for a race and then blowing a hamstring a week before the event.  A longing sense of - just didn't get it done.  So I've had my pout and now it's time to begin focusing on - what now?

When I said that my seminary education was never about the degree or the grades, that was either true or it wasn't.  Just because I'm no longer enrolled in a seminary degree program does not preclude me from continuing to study and grow.  Sure, working hard in an accredited degree program has obvious short and long-term advantages, but what if that just isn't an option?  What alternatives are available for someone like me who has the need and desire for theological training, but lacks the time, opportunity, and means to pursue such an endeavor?

Let's explore that idea a little further.  I'm going to scamper off and do a little research to see what I can find.  I'm a bit curious to see what's available and how that compares to what I've experienced.  I'm really not sure what to expect but stay tuned for more as I begin to look into this.     

 

End of the Road ... For Now

Tough Decisions

Well, if you've been reading you know it's been a struggle for me on many fronts the past few years in pursuit of an MBTS degree.  Despite having a great Spring semester, the financial means to continue in the program remain just beyond my reach.  Tough decisions needed to be made and I simply could not sacrifice my family's needs at the expense of my education.  So it is with a bit of sadness that I share that at this moment, I've reached the end of the road ... for now.

I'll have more to say soon as I reflect on my studies and share more about what I've learned as a result.

Hanging in There

Decision Update

Just a quick update today.  I've completed all my semester work for ST104OL Soteriology and I'm getting ready to head home for the first time in years to take a little time off.  Before heading out though, I thought I'd share that I've made a decision with the assistance of the kind staff at DTS.  Rather than withdrawing at this time, I'm going to audit a course this Fall to buy myself some time to see if I can make things work moving forward.  Still not sure what's on the horizon, but at least there's still hope.

What will I be auditing?  Well, I can't audit any course that I might end up taking as part of my degree.  So I've decided to go ahead and audit NT101OL New Testament Greek.  Basically, I'm terrible with languages, so I figure this will give me an opportunity to gain some skills I wish I had, without having to stress out over being - right, terrible with languages.  And in case you think I'm being overly hard on myself; I've been living in Poland for ten years now and I still hardly speak a lick of Polish...

Stay tuned, I'll be posting my ST104OL recap shortly after the final grades are posted.  Really couldn't say how I did in the course as much of the final grade rests on the last two assignments I submitted.  I did OK on the final exam with an 88 after answering 3 questions wrong.  I had a facepalm moment as one of the answers I got wrong was from a passage I actually taught on a few weeks back.  I think I mentioned how much I hate taking tests - yeah, it's the little details that getcha.  So look for that debrief in a week or so.

At A Crossroads

The Tough Decisions

As I approach the end of my summer semester in ST104 Soteriology I find myself at a crossroads and faced with a very difficult decision.  If you've followed at all the story of my seminary education at DTS, splotchy as my updates have been, you know that I've endured a lot over the past couple of years.  Life changes, health changes, work changes, and everything in between have made my pursuit of a seminary education challenging to say the least. And now it's time for me to make some difficult decisions.

While my spirit is willing to continue to make the necessary sacrifices to see my studies through, my pockets are empty.  I've just run out of the green needed to pay the bills.  I'm having some conversations to consider my options and I've not given up hope yet, but the truth is, it doesn't look good.  That said, whether I find the means to pay for school and continue or not, I know this effort will not have been in vain.

What I've learned in the short time I've been at DTS has already had a profound impact on my life.  I know this is by God's design and according to His will.  And what I've learned I've also shared, and will continue to do so with those around me; in my church, in my community, and at my work.  While the journey may look different for me soon, it will by no means be over.  I'm sure I'll have more to write on this soon as the picture becomes more clear.

But for now I'll continue to grind through the final weeks of my current course.  You know I was really looking forward to taking this class, and I can tell you that I have not been disappointed.  In the shorter summer schedule it's been a little more challenging, but it's been great and I look forward to sharing a lot more about what I've learned very soon.

Progress: Well Enough to Register

Getting Ready for Fall 17

Despite a few minor setbacks, I continue to heal well and I'm getting much stronger.  In fact, I'm well enough that I decided to go ahead and end my leave of absence early and register for classes again starting this fall.  This is great progress and I give God all the praise and glory for bringing me this far in such a short amount of time.

So where am I with my recovery and what is the plan for the fall?  Read on to find out!

Defining Goals and Limits - Part I

Back to School, Now What?

Deciding to go to school was kind of the easy part.  The challenging part is deciding which schools to actually apply to.  It became pretty obvious right up front that there is no magic solution to finding the ideal school.  However, having made the decision to go back, it's relatively easy to put a little extra work into choosing the right school.

Besides, schools are like shoes; there are many different kinds that appeal to people with many different needs and many different tastes.  I just had to start ‘trying some on’ to see which one would be the best fit.

My Journey in Online Seminary

Plans are Starting to Come Together

I've decided after careful consideration and thoughtful prayer to pursue an online degree program at Dallas Theological Seminary (DTS).  Making a decision to pursue any degree is fraught with uncertainty and I think that is only compounded when deciding to study entirely online.

I've decided to create this blog to document my exploits in the hopes that I might provide you with some insights which might help you in your own considerations for study.